so be it.

You could say I am now a SAHM( stay at home mom). It has recently hit me..like JUST this moment that I no longer have work to attend to, other than the duties of the walls I reside in. And man, that feels good.
Being at home is something different. You become a better mother (I can say this because I have done the working thing and the sahm thing and personally..this is how I feel). You are either WAY more patient or completely unpatient because you never get out. You make amazing meals, which you hope your husband enjoys because you know the kids would prefer PB&J. Your house seems cleaner, laundry is caught up, dishes barely lie in the sink and the days ticks by at snail speed, but when it's over you realize you didn't get half the crap done that you intended to.
So I am adjusting to all that again. And also loving being back in school and enjoying the challenge of it. Possibly, this doesnt make me a candidate of a "sahm" but I feel like I deserve the title of both.
I am sure this semester is going to prove it's self very demanding. My chemistry class is slightly overwhelming and I have a feeling my really cool english teacher is a really hard grader. They are never as perfect as they seem. And unfortunately, I have all male teachers which totally doesnt help my situation as a pregnant student who is due BEFORE the end of the semester..or maybe it does? It might be better than the old, bitter woman who never found a man to marry and never had the gift of children.
i did speak to all my professors and they seem to think it will not be a problem and they would totally work with me. One even saying, "i've had worse cases" to which I replied, "I hope so, I don't consider myself a "case". Just like those people who think pregnancy is a disease or a condition..no, jackass..it's creation of life.
Aside from all that, letter writing went much better than anticipated. In fact, the letter I recieved was very honest and insightful. I don't think myhusband has ever said anything like that. I learned many things and although some were upseting, at least he finally admitted some of the things I accused him of. Marriage ( a good one) takes so much work. i can understand how people can just give up, but...somehow I cant. With all the work, comes all the joy. The down time equals 10x the good times and I wouldn't trade my marriage in for anything.
I also think being poor and having children way to early is a great start to a marriage. As funny as it seems,I think..."well, if we can make it through these years and still love eachother..what can we tackle together?"
aint that the truth?