Happy Heart Day

Dear Husband,
Do not mention bringing home an adorable puppy for Valentines day when you know full well you will not follow through with the idea and you know how desperately I ache for a damn dog to complete our happy family. I love you dearly despite your idiocy. Happy Heart Day!
Love, your Wife.

Dear Self,
Do not indulge in the idea of getting a puppy when you honestly know you cannot handle a puppy and raising three boys. Do not try to convince yourself it is a good time to take on another financial repsonsiblity when your family has no income. And be aware that you will beg and plead for an adorable little fluff ball, but once you actually have it, you will bitch non-stop about the effort it takes to care for the little thing. Happy Heart Day-appreciate what you have!
Love, The better half of your brain.


Dear Sis In-Law,
Do not continue to pretend that your buying my ticket to this upcoming concert is a "gift," when we all know you are merely using me as a means of transportation to and from the event. A gift is something you give to someone who actually wants to receive it. Happy Heart Day-you should take this time to look up the world "selfish" in the dictionary.
Love, The one who will still show up with a smile on her face.

Dear Mother,
Do no tell me you won't be upset if I give you an honest answer and then immediately after, hang up on me. Happy Heart Day-I am sorry you have pushed every loving person out of your life and you have to spend the day in solitary.
Love, Me-for not making the same mistakes you have.

Dear PJ's,
Do not look down on me for my inability to change out of you today and for the fact that I havent even bothered to shower. Happy Heart Day-I love you.